Lots of questions so let's answer in order, here are our replies:
(a) Yes, this would be considered rich in Laos. However if you are a big spender and prefer foreign-aimed stores, items and restaurants, then expect to pay foreign prices comparable (or excessive) to your home country. For example, consider that a box of Muslix cereal cost a colleague of mine $6USD a year ago.
(b) Foreigners are not allowed to own property. Therefore it would have to be in the name of a Lao citizen. Your wife would probably not qualify either. It would have to be in the name of someone she knows (family member is most likely).
(c) The "best houses" are not necessarily river front homes. River front properties are becoming scarce and are a bit over-rated.
You can find rentals anywhere. All of the hotels and guesthouses have long term rental rates. There are individuals and companies who rent out houses as well. In terms of luxury type rentals there are about half a dozen places that come to mind. But they are not worth the cost. They inflate the costs because they know that only foreigners would be pay such a price and because most of those tenants are foreigners who work in Laos and their employer pays the rent.
You could find a nice house to rent for a only a few hundred dollars or a really nice place for a $1000+/month. There are mansions you could rent as well. It depends on your tastes. In our opinion the expensive places are somewhat of a rip-off when you consider the low cost of most things (ex. utilities, water, etc.). An expensive place is just about image in Laos, it does not necessarily mean it will have everything or include everything. If people found out the cost you were paying and it was deemed/believed to be a rip-off, instead of looking rich/powerful it may give the impression of naivety.
(d) Your wife is somewhat correct in saying volunteer work is rare - that is rare for a Lao resident to just work for no money. Volunteer work is more common among Westerners where money may not always be an issue.
Volunteer work is plentiful. And many charities have websites that you could visit, take a look at our links section. Mention that you will work for free and I am certain many of the NGOs or English language schools will take you in.
If you prefer a busy lifestyle, even Vientiane will become considered a sleepy town for you. The community of long-term ex-patriates, which we have commented on previously in our Advice Column, is small and depending on your preferences they may annoy you or be a companion to you.
My suggestions would be for you to only live in Laos for part of the year and return to your home country after a while - this gives you a balance. Unless you come to really and truly fall in love with Laos and have a strong personal interest in it, some foreigners come to be bored/annoyed/bigoted towards it. Definitely starting your own business in Laos and keeping yourself busy will alleviate any boredom.
If your trip to Laos was less than one month, then you do not have a real picture of life in Laos. In that one month it is still discovery and nostalgia. I suggest you attempt living in Laos for more than a month and then see how you feel.
Your wife, as many older Lao ex-patriates, dream of retiring back to Laos. But the same cannot be said for foreigners as there is no cultural or family attachment to Laos. It is wonderful to see that you are open to retiring in Laos but remember to consider the items mentioned here.
One particular story comes to mind. One of our colleagues taught grade one in Vientiane. He mentioned a hilarious story about charades. He is the same individual who answered the majority of the original Advice Column piece you are referring to.
(Editor's Note: Charades is a Western game of acting out something and letting the other players attempt to guess what it is you are trying to act or be.)
He had brought his students on a field trip to Vat Phra Keo and to Vat Sisaket which was across the street. One of the marks in these hundred-of-years-old temples were the different Buddha statues and the different Buddha positions they were posed in.
After and during the trip a few of the students were inquiring about what the different gestures and positions meant. Well, he wasn't entirely sure. He only knew of a few of the gestures/positions. Coincidentally, a day or two later, he found a Lao book from his local friend containing pictures and names of all the different gestures/positions.
So he photocopied the different images and made the kids act out each different pose and then let the other students guess. It became known as Buddha Charades. By the way, this was for social studies. He reported that it was quite fun and the kids enjoyed themselves. It was done in a way to help the kids to remember.
So if you can imagine a bunch of Gr. 1 students acting out the many different Buddha positions, and the other students yelling out:
Calling for Rain
Fighting Mara
Stopping Mara
Going to give a sermon
Meditation
Paranibbana
A very inventive teacher.
