~ AUG 20 2002

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All Dressed Up
From: US
- I'd like to take pictures in full Laotian clothing and preferably with Lao background. Are there any places in the US who do this?

Reply:

Unfortunately we do not know of any available in the US.

The only definite places to do such photos in full Laotian 'environment' or backgrounds is in Laos. Many Lao people, both male and female, and usually younger people, love to take these kinds of photos. Guys come out looking like Laotian princes and girls come out looking like Laotian princesses. It's great.

If however you do not mind having no Lao background you can still get the clothing. Laotian textiles are available in the US and usually all you have to do is ask other Lao people. And if you require accessories the best source again is to ask around in the community or ask to borrow from family and relatives.

This may sound surprising to some people but it's quite common.

Reply:

Your initiative to learn more about Laotian culture is wonderful. There is a special point to make clear when dealing with ethnic or recent immigrants and that is, they do tend to be protective of their children, in particular of girls. But again this is apparent in many cultures in general. It sounds like her parents are quite traditional. The only way you could help alleviate some of their concerns are to learn and be respectful of their wishes.Ultimately the success of the relationship will be on how you, as the boyfriend, deals with this. Negatively? Positively? Patiently? Because you are dealing with a different culture you have to remember to remain mindful of their customs.

The ultimate outcome is that if you and your Lao girfriend begin to disrespect the parents, more problems will follow. She'll begin to have more problems at home and in dealing with her family. The parents will feel betrayed and both you and she will feel alienated because you may feel that the parents don't trust you enough. It's a balancing game. And you'll have to show your maturity and respect by dealing with this in a patient manner. Some guys might not want to take that road but I can see you probably do want to take the high road for this and try to work things out.

Some additional tips would be not to take her out at late hours, don't show physical affection in front of her parents, make sure that when she's out that she tells her parents where she is (to engender more trust and less worries) and show the parents as much respect as you can.

Also remember to speak and ask your girlfriend questions. She would also be a great source to answer your cultural questions. Many books on Laos in your local libraries will have at least one or two sections on customs, beliefs and tradition.